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» FIRST CONTACT » Things you should ask about or be aware of....
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alchik
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 05-16-2007 Location:
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posted on 05-16-2007 at 07:08 |
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Things you should ask about or be aware of....
I've been married to a russian woman for 8 years so I know a few things. I'm no expert but I've learned a lot.
When you have met "the one" and before you proceed with the K1 visa process you need to hammer out some things first. It may seem pretty inappropriate at the time and very business-like but it will hep in the long run. First, are you rich? If so, you don't care if she ever works or not. If you're not you need to make sure she understands that once she's gotten her bearings in the US she needs to get a job and help out your family. I made the mistake of telling mine she wouldn't have to work. Little did I know that down the road I'd be laid off and out of work for months before landing on my feet again. Zero offers of help from the wife (Just give me money...). Well, you need to get that straight from the beginning. Secondly, her family responsibilities. Is she an only child? Both parents alive? Will you need to help support them, her siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins? Will they all want to come live with you? If she's an only child and the parents don't come to the US, what if one dies? Will that parent need to come live with you or will your wife leave you and go back to help the parent? As you can see there are many variations on this you may have to contend with. Keep them all in mind and make sure you ask the right questions and know if there is love as well. Remember, many Russians see US tv shows and get the impression that Americans don't really have to work but seem to have lots of money and have lots of fun as in the show, Friends.
Also, if there are children eventually, what will happen if you divorce? Will she take the children and go back to Russia? How will you handle that? Or, what if she just gets here and realizes you aren't the rich prince you were in Russia? Will she leave you for the real rich guy or better looking guy?
See, these are just some of the downsides of foreign marriage. I've almost gone through all of them personally. All the other American guys I know that are married to Russian woman pay for them completely and they do not work. The just spend your money, visit their friends and have a good ole time. If you're ok with that, go ahead. If not, but you are in love, ask the questions, cover your bases and make sure you're on the same page. Make sure you have compatible interests other than hey, she looks good and the sex is great. Realize, you're going to have to talk with her and live your life with her. She may hate your music, politics, books, family, hobbies and most everything about you except your money. ASK ASK ASK!!! Make sure you go into this with your eyes wide open!
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