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Forum Home
» Coping strategies » 2 questions
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hammers17
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 07-07-2011 Location:
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posted on 07-07-2011 at 19:29 |
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2 questions
Divorce is just about finalized--about 2 months since its over/I left(my wife called for the divorce a little more than me),Im mildly bogged down by 1)I have the feeling of trying to "compete" with her for whos going to recover and prosper better and 2)this one may be a little out there --Imnot sure if its that far out of the ordinary--Im masturbating alot--including my wife more in the fantasies more than I want..any feedback?
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KyleMorrison
Newbie
Posts: 5
Registered: 07-08-2011 Location:
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posted on 07-08-2011 at 04:10 |
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Answers?
Hi,
I will take a stab at answernig these as best I can from my own experience and research.
1) That feeling of competing is a dangerous thing. You are tying your happiness to a false sense of victory this way rather than defining your own sens of what is winning. Ask yourself - do you want to win? Or do you want her to lose? You need to define what you see as success and divorce that (pardon the pun) from this competative situation.
2) I dont think this is too out there, it is only natural that a long term lover is still going to be in your memory and called forth when sexual imagination is triggered. Unless it is bothering you - I dont think this is going to cause any real problems.
Hope that helps!
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hammers17
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 07-07-2011 Location:
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posted on 07-08-2011 at 17:33 |
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thanks kyle
Thanks for the reply,and Im still a lil unsure on the exact way way I feel in regards to my first question about the competition--that may not be the case.Im hoping to get myself going as quickly as I can and let her do her thing.Ive read a book on divorce and one on getting past your ex and Ive try to hit alot of online blogs and such for coping ideas.Im alot betting than I was 2 months ago.Thanks again.
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