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» Coping strategies » Still in shock
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Wisegrl
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 02-19-2012 Location:
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posted on 02-19-2012 at 17:56 |
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Still in shock
My husband of 21 years looked up a girl that he used to go to school with on Facebook. They started off just talking and it progressed. I found out because he went over on his minutes and when I asked him he lied first about it saying they were just friends and when I asked him her name he lied about that also. I threw him out right then and there and this was about three weeks ago. I am an emotional mess. I cannot stop thinking of how he can do this to me and my girls. He moved in with her immediately and its like we have been replaced overnight. I keep wondering what he does at her place when we are eating dinner or grocery shopping. I cant stop thining over and over how can he do this to us and how he texted her all day during Christmas in front of my family. I try to push it out but it keeps coming back. I can't eat or sleep. 21 years and I want answers. Everyone was shocked because no one including me never ever thought he would do this. Now we are going to lose everything we built together. I want to be angry at him but I can't get past the shock. I am so confused.
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odear6
Newbie
Posts: 5
Registered: 02-16-2012 Location:
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posted on 02-21-2012 at 22:27 |
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still in shock
Hang in there! I'm going thru the same thing..my husband of 21 yrs also picked a girl he met on the internet - she had just gotten out of jail also. We have four children together and he is refusing to pay or give any money and has taken the most of the money out of our accounts.
FIRST THING - put your emotions on hold - get his name off the accounts or open new ones - whatever is in the accounts take half right NOW, before its to late and you have to take it to court.....I didn't listen to my friends and sat in the corner crying trying to figure out way he did this - he ended up with getting 25, 000 dollars before I even noticed it....
SECOND - your emotion will get you...don't ask why - you will never find the answer and he will never tell you the truth. he has to make himself look good in the eyes of the new lady and make you look horrible...stop asking -you deserve better and you will never never get an answer.
THIRD - surround your self with support for you and your child. Not the judgment support or the pity party support, but the support of you are going to get thru this and your a strong person. Next, be honest with your children. Your are divorcing their father - not them.
AGAIN - AS PARENTS WE ARE DIVORCING OUR SPOUSES NOT OUR CHILDREN. dont use your children as a pawn - if they are old enough to understand things be honest, be honest....I was trying to protect mine and not tell them anything, it just backfired on me because they started blaming me...well I started letting them see the truth and let them see the decision.
FOURTH - if child are old enough - demand he provide a cell phone for them, it keeps you out of the middle of their father/child relationship...which will help you.
HANG IN THERE - ITS NOT EASY...mine is has been gone for 6mths now and has only seen his kids 2 times....still fighting in court.
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