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» sexuality » Rant of my confusion
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Silentgirl88
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 03-29-2013 Location:
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posted on 03-29-2013 at 16:26 |
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Rant of my confusion
I'm not actually sure why i'm even here or if this would answer any questions but seemed like a good place to "think aloud" with others responding.. First i'm a 24 yr old, female, & a virgin. I've dated guys, but never had a real boyfriend. The case is usually guy interested only wants sex, guy isn't interested, or great guy but i'm not sexually attracted to him (friend zone). The last guy I really liked was an irresponsible pot head. Needless to say he didn't last too long. So i've been single all my life... Up until recently.. And that's where my confusion begins. I'm in a relationship finally, but with my best friend... A girl. Now i've never looked at girls in any attracted to way. Happened where she (straight, several bfs, not a virgin) made a move. I was completely turned off and pushed her away but later convinced myself to give it a try with someone who I know cares about me. Its been ten months and it didn't take long for me to develop feelings on that level. Sexually we both were confused on how girls make that work. Now i'm at a point were i'm sick of being the virgin, like in a curious sense. But i'm not sure if i'm ready. Gf is putting no pressure on sex (specifically i'm stressing on penetration). Again how do I know if i'm ready? Then i'm also concerned about in this sense, my first time would be with an object instead of the real thing. Do I want to accept that since ppl make a huge deal about the first time? lately i've been wondering about if i'll ever be with a guy and beginning to be curious about that, but don't want to end a relationship i'm in just to "try" something else... Worst case is that thous relationship is new to both and kind of scary. We haven't told anyone so I can't go to anyone to talk about it. I can talk to her about it but that one person abd I would like to hear various voices and not just one.
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